I was supposed to spork a whole fifteen chapter gawdawfully long Mary Sue fanfic. But this one was so stupid that it was enough to make me drop whatever the hell it was that I was doing and not to mention make my IQ points drop a couple because a few million brain cells died after I kept headdesking until there was a dent at the side of my head.

Title of The abomination of nature Fanfic: Baby Boy
Name of The culprit Author: thedevilslittlegirl

How the abomination of nature fic goes: (The coherence of the summary just tells you something, doesn’t it?) this my friends is a mpreg sanzogoku and yaoi no like no read and um is a one shot i think.........

Your fic makes me want to say:


The Garbage Dispenser: It’s so horrible it’s not even funny. It’s so horrible that you can’t look away. It’s just horrible. Shitty characterization, messy and fucked up story line, non-existent characters that show up for no apparent reason other than the sake of showing up. Atrocious grammar and pointless dialogue. If I keep going, I’ll just never ever stop.

Reasons for Sporking:

1. Where, oh where do I begin? Let’s start with the plot shall we? ‘’Sonzo’’ has apparently returned from the Journey To The West. With Gojyo and Hakkai missing in action and Goku is dead. Then, Kanzeon comes out from nowhere and tells Sanzo that the only way to bring back his beloved Goku is that he bear Goku’s child. Because apparently – this will open a portal or dimension that would bring Goku back to life. Did I mention that Sanzo is now a demon? Now, upon reading that – I don’t think I have to go on about how absolutely and positively stupid this fic really is now, do I?

2. She’s got Sanzo sobbing on his pillow while lying down on his bed, moping around and of course, throwing himself at Gojyo and bawling his eyes out. Has this ficcer ever WATCHED the series before? Of all the episodes of Saiyuki, Saiyuki Reload and Saiyuki Reload Gunlock, Never has Sanzo bawled his eyes out or openly expressed feelings besides annoyance, anger and sarcasm. If he does ever end up crying, it would be SO quiet that you wouldn’t think anything happened, and he would NEVER EVER show anyone that he’s CRYING. He’s GENJO SANZO. He’s a emotionally constipated bastard that way. And Gojyo would never COMFORT him by patting him on the back or allow him to sob all over his shirt or stomach for that matter. And Hakkai hardly does anything besides fall ‘’ un conches’’ and get bossed around towards the end.

3. Ficcer, if you’re going to make the characters swear, please do it correctly. Because there is no such thing as a ’’Funking Bastard.

4. Saiyu and Thorn are characters who come in, talk and then exit never to be heard from again. Now I really don’t get why they had to show up in the first place. Well, Saiyu was given an excuse since he was ‘’the healer who found Sanzo bruised up’’ and taken back. As for Thorn, she just showed up for absolutely nothing. They also mention a few characters that don’t show up at all, so basically it’s pretty pointless to bring them up. Ficcer, it’s fine to have original characters – but you don’t go around smacking them around fanfiction if it’s not necessary. It just gets annoying and boring for a LOT of people.

5. Besides the fact that she’s got Sanzo falling on his knees and crying in the presence of Gojyo and two complete strangers. She’s also got Goku spewing out lines like: ‘I will love you until the light is gone from this universe’. Now, I really don’t know where she would get the idea that Goku talks like this, or what part she thinks that making him talk like this is in character. Let’s not forget “Love I’m hear and I swear that I wont live again.”. Whatever the hell that means, you know what – I don’t want to know. I might throw up even more.

6. Let’s not forget the terrible grammar that is enough to make Linguists hang themselves if they ever got a hold of this. “I want you to bare Goku’s child.”, “Sanzo I told you not to get out of bed your still to weak.”, “Yes I’m in hear what do you need?”, “You okay Sanzo you’ve been a little out of it sins your friends got hear.” are only a FEW examples. It would take FOREVER.

7. Inconsistent. It’ll take nine months to form the baby in… Sanzo’s womb – but there’s a problem right there. He HAS no womb. And giving birth through the ass is pretty impossible last time I checked. It’s just not physically possible, so people should just stop. REALLY. Oh, and another thing. If it’ll take three months and if they had to ‘’burie’’ Goku’s body. I know he won’t exactly be nothing but bones because decomposition takes a pretty long time, but still, he’ll have signs of decomposition AFTER those nine months of staying under the ground?.

I’m surprised that this fic is still up. No one is paying attention to it. And it’s as horrible as hell, you think the ficcer would get the hint by now?


Sonzo lay in bed sleeping off the effects of the last battle. It had been a long and dangerous journey and in the end it seemed all was lost the other three of his group where more than likely dead and their bodies had yet to be found and he had been turned demon from killing the demon lord all on his own. But it had cost him two friends and his lover now all he had left of the boy he gave his love was a golden cornet and the last words he herd him speak ‘I will love you until the light is gone from this universe’. The blond rolled over in the bed and started to sob in to the pillow it was the millionth time he had cried over the boy but he just couldn’t bare the empty space in his hart any more.
“So Sanzo your just going to lie there and sob over something you couldn’t control?” that voice. He hated that voice if it wasn’t for that good for nothing goddess he would be at home with his lover safe and warm in his arms.
“Get out you fucking bitch.” but she didn’t leave she just stood there and looked at him and smiled. “I SAID GET OUT I DON’T WANT YOU HEAR! IF IT WASN’T FOR YOU HE WOULD STILL BE ALIVE! IT’S ALL YOUR FUCKING FAULT!” he yelled siting up and throwing the glass of water on the bed side table at her head. She easily dogged it because Sonzo was still so weak from the battle.
“I have a proposition for you and if you ever wish to see Goku again I suggest you do it.” it hurt to hear his name.
“W..what do you want me to do?” he asked wiping away some of the tears that still ran down his cheeks.
“I want you to bare Goku’s child.” Sanzo looked at her in disbelief that wasn’t in her power was it? “In doing so you will open a portal to bring him back. O yes and I do believe that is Gojyo yelling down stairs I think he might be mad at you.” with that last word she disappeared to the place she came from.
“Did you barie him?” Sanzo asked pulling the thick blanket up to his chin as he spoke. Gojyo looked over a little shocked then he got up and walked over to Sanzo then sat at the edge of the bed. Sanzo rolled on to his back and looked up at Gojyo tears forming in the corners of his eyes.
“We did all we could he just was to far gone, but he wanted us to tell you to never hide who you are and be happy.” Sanzo lost it again he wrapped his arms around Gojyo’s middle and sobbed in to his stomach.
“I miss him so much.” Sanzo sobbed in to Gojyo’s stomach. Gojyo just started rubbing his back. He wasn’t the only one that got hurt they all had. Kou lost Yaonie, Lirin lost her sight and voice, Doku had lost his arm and sight in one eye, Gojyo him self had lost a close friend, Goku, Hakkai might be blind, and Sanzo lost the only one he ever loved and his one chance at a happy life.
“I know you do I miss him to... if you want me to I can take you to his grave.” Gojyo suggested. The ex monk nodded in to his stomach and started to fall asleep. Gojyo put him down in the bed and pulled the blankets back up and went over to his own bed. His sleep was restless riddled with dreams of Goku and the old days when life was good.

“Love I’m hear and I swear that I wont live again.” Goku said in to Sanzo’s ear. Ten minuets later and Hakkai put the baby on Sanzo’s chest it was a boy a beautiful baby boy with blond hair and gray eyes.
“He’s beautiful,” Goku said kissing Sanzo. “and he’s ours, yours and mine.” Sanzo smiled sleepily and looked down at his baby boy.
“Yours and mine...” Sanzo said before he kissed the top of his head. Hakkai looked up and smiled at the couple.
“I’m sorry to burst the bubble but he needs a bath so dose Goku and Sanzo you need to sleep or I wont let you hold that baby.” He then reached up and piked up the tiny baby and nearly kicked Goku out and told Sanzo to sleep.
Sanzo looked down at the bundle of cloth in his arms and looked up when Goku came back in to the room.
“Getting that mud out of my mouth was murder.” he said a tooth brush in his mouth. Sanzo couldn’t help but let out a small laugh as the baby cooed at the voice of his other father.
“Do you have any name ideas?” Goku asked pulling the chair closer to the bed.
“Yes, Saiyu. Do you like it?” Sanzo looked up to his lover and then back to the baby he had pushed out only five hours before.
“I love it Son Saiyu Genjyo, I love it.” Goku kissed his lover then looked down to the baby in Sanzo’s arms.

Proof that it’s not too late for everyone:

Basically all I can say is that your story sucked, BIG TIME. It was confusing, it had wrong grammar and it was very irritatng. The plot was undeniably wierd and I advise you to go join a writing work shop. It lacked discription and feeling, like it was just...well...written. Writing means you need to make readers actually visualize it. Plus you were totaly out of character! Sanzo CRYING?! WTF?! I'd die first, he's not that soft. And put a disclamer on top you know, you don't own the series, DO YOU?!

AND when you pair Sanzo with Goku , SANZO IS NOT FIT TO BE THE MOMMY! it's weird and it freas most people out. Like labor and Goku coming out of the dead like that?! Nine months, he's body would have decomposed into a smelly skeleton by then! You need to get your facts right, and please use spell check.

Thank you. -- Anonymous

Now, as my icon says. It’s been lovely, but I think I have to go scream now.